corporate ausralia isn't real. take off your tie and shoes.

last summer i paid $25 for a panoramic photo poster of the view of the sydney harbor. i slapped it on the wall of home sweet edmond’s and fell asleep under that visual for a semester. last week, however, i paid $2 to hop on a bus that dropped me off in the same place my poster’s picture was taken. the moment the insanely glorious view was my own (to quote the great mastercard commercials): priceless.

but seriously. i sat with a friend at darling (and it’s called darling too, my god…) harbor struggling to drink an australian beer because my mouth was almost constantly agape as i gazed at the freaking sydney harbor bridge and opera house. what in the world did i do to deserve such awesomeness? beyond postcard-like views, i saw some pretty sick stuff, too. we’re talking a street performing dude who stood on a bike that was suspended in the air by a ten foot metal pole...and while up there he juggled a blowtorch and knives. ain’t no thing. also saw a forty-plus year old dude with dreds playing a didgeridoo, he was golden. i talked to a photographer at a market, was ever-impressed with his stuff. asked him to follow me around australia and take my pictures for me. he said he’d love to but warned me, with a laugh, that he was mighty expensive.

so far so good on the water, wine, and ocean resolutions. the only pitfall thus far: one blue bottle jellyfish sting (google image it!). it left this fierce warrior wound though and i’ve earned some street cred as i can say i’ve been stung by a portuguese man’o’war. no one had to pee on me, i felt better in an hour, and i‘m alive to write about it, so no worries. speaking of “no worries,” i thought i used that phrase a lot. it’s like these peoples’ comma. even the solicitors here are wildly friendly! exhibit A: “g’day want to buy these raffle tickets for some australian thing you’re not familiar with?” “no thanks.” “oh! no worries!” i bet even their dmv employees are nice. it’s simply that kind of nation down here.

i can’t decide whether i’m excited for classes to begin. on the plus, i’m a dork and am amped about the courses i’m taking. on the minus, having any form of a schedule might impede my do-whatever-i-want/that-usually-means-beach routine. from what i understand, though, classes here are of a much softer variety than BC’s. aka the sweet life will probably continue.

plans are in the works for some serious adventures. these ballin adventures include but are not limited to: white water rafting, blue mountains, climbing sydney harbor bridge, bungee jumping in new zealand, wine tasting in hunter valley, surf trips, sleeping in hammocks in fiji, checking up on the great barrier reef before global warming eats it, etc. sadly, these adventures cost some serious green (or serious pink, yellow, and blue as australian money goes). if you feel like wiring me thick stacks of bills, it would be wildly appreciated.

fun fact one: they filmed babe (of great pig fame) in australia!
fun fact two: i’ve heard “fuck” (and “root”!) on non-cable tv in australia.

in other entertaining news, there are some bizarre things that look exactly the same but carry different names. for instance, rice kripsies. same blue box, same snap, crackle, and pop dudes, but called rice bubbles. also, burger king. same logo, same food, but called hungry jack’s. these things make me laugh.

in most important news, i saw kangaroos and koalas. if i drop out of school and the dolphin training gig doesn’t pan out, i would happily settle for zoo-keeper at sydney wildlife world. any job that entails feeding kangas daily would be swell. they are quite friendly and intrigued with people (at least these kangas) which works out because i’m quite friendly and intrigued with them. when they jump, they look absolutely ridiculous. so, so silly that i laughed aloud. also, i had no idea that koalas make absurd noises! totally ridiculous, very loud, quite trainwreck-ish sounding. regardless, my koala love lives on.

i do miss all of your beautiful faces major league. once/if we land our own internet, i’ll be able to skype, which will be grand news. also, once i get my own internet i will be able to catch up and then keep up with all the personal emails. i swear i’m not failing on my gmail monster promise, i’ve just been unwired. SOON!

until then i will avoid further interactions with poisonous sea creatures…even though i was informed by a dear australian that i have a better chance of dying in a club than at the beach. i think that was supposed to be comforting.

the end.

love,
kasey